Saturday, December 26, 2009

List: Things I Probably Shouldn't Do Again (Part 1)

This is a list of things I probably shouldn't do again. You can call them mistakes, goofs, idiotic behaviors, etc... However, I call them lessons. No, they didn't happen all in one day, one month, or one year. They have been accumulating over a life-time. This is part 1. I know more will come to mind as time goes on and of course there will be lessons learned after I publish this list.


Tell a co-worker, "Ignorance is NO EXCUSE," who confessed that she had never read a novel until college, when she was required to do so.

Tell my son that his art teacher will kill him if he misbehaves in class, because Jordan shared this information with the art teacher.

Try-on a shirt that was a size too small over my head right by the rack instead of going to the dressing room. It got stuck...on my head. My friends were laughing too hard to help me get it off my head. I thought I would suffocate, but I was laughing as well!

Wear bright yellow. Enough said.

Show a friend a dance move from "West Side Story" on a concrete surface between classes.

Send a note complaining about the co-worker mentioned earlier accidentally to the co-worker mentioned earlier!

Put Mr. Clean in a dishwasher. Lots and lots and lots of suds.

Laugh so hard I snorted during a prayer.

Wear prairie dresses that made me look like Holly Hobbie.

Cut my hair in a wedge.

Get a perm. I looked like Little Orphan Annie and my friend's son sang "Tomorrow" to me.

Stand on the seat of my bicycle while coasting into the yard and grabbing onto a tree branch. Dad cut the branches back each year.

Allow my kids to buy a gerbil. I was the only adult in the house who wasn't afraid to catch it and carry it to the cage when it escaped.

Scrub the floors with Mr. Clean and then with Tilex.

Sneak-out of a freshman girls' dorm at Ouachita, drive around for hours with my co-horts, and sleep in my car until the dorm opened the next day. Bad hair, neck ache, security officer catching us as we walked in the dorm.

Turn on the self-cleaning setting for my oven right after grease spilled from the Thanksgiving turkey. FLAMES!

Put my foot on a bent-wood rocker and tie my shoe. When I regained consciousness my nose was swollen.

Clean a lit lightbulb with a wet cloth.

Drive 75 miles an hour while listening to the Dixie Chicks singing "Sin Wagon" outside Showlow, Arizona. It's a 50 mph zone which is closely monitored by the highway patrol. Felony speeding...merciful and cute DPS officer...lowered the radar reported speed,,,recommended for driver's improvement school.

Eat mimosa beans while stringing them into "Love Beads" in my front yard with a friend. They are poisonous. Stomach pumping is the treatment for ingesting mimosa beans.

Trust my son when he says the antibiotic in the pill bottle is Cipro not Penicillin. Allergic reactitons last a while.

Wear bow-toe shoes.

Forget my earplugs when traveling with my husband.

Use spray-on instant tanning solution.

Spray PAM in a skillet over a gas stove.

Tie a balloon bouquet on a dauschound's collar so she will look cute. When we finally caught up to her and pulled her out from under the bed, CPR was an option.

Connect my first washing machine with my father-in-law without taking out the packing around the drum. Who knew this would cause the dang thing to walk around, shimmying, and shaking!

Try "Around the World" with my Duncan Yo-Yo in front of the televison set. Crash-Flames-Smoke.

More soon!

Hey! I never said I was perfect! LOL!

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