Friday, September 9, 2011


If you are on my facebook friend list and you actually read some of the comments I make, then you are probably aware that I became a little "heated" and openly expressed myself regarding a comment that was made on one of my recent posts. Some people, including my husband, Bosco, felt it was a "tad" much, while others cheered me on even requesting that I delete the offender from my friend list. I loved what my nephew, Ben, had to say, "I learned a long time ago not to piss-off my Aunt Jan." It just goes to show that he knows me better than I thought he did! I have to admit it, I can be a tiny bit outspoken...

Okay, stop laughing! As my mother once said in horror, "We just never know what will come out of her mouth." I don't think she was talking about a baby putting a pebble in their mouth as I was about 14 when I overheard her make the comment! Yes, for those of you who really don't know me in all my glory, I can say some audacious, and interesting things. I usually mean well, but there have been some times when people consider therapy when I have finished.
Example: Friends and I are shopping at the mall during the Christmas season. We walk to the escalator to go down to the first floor. A man and his wife are standing in front of the entrance, talking about some mundane thing. (There was no discussion of feeling faint, the need to slow down, and/or being afraid of falling to their death on the contraption, nor did they speak in a foreign language.) I say very clearly with a holiday smile on my face, "Excuse me..." No response and no movement. I cleared my throat and repeated a little more firmly and loudly, "Excuse me, may we go past?" They turned to look at me, but kept on talking. Okay, here it comes. In a clear voice I said, "I don't know where you are from, but where I come from when someone says EXCUSE ME THAT IS A NICE WAY OF SAYING MOVE YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WAY!" They moved quickly and we went down the escalator. One friend laughed so hard she was crying by the time we made it to the first floor, the other friend just looked embarrassed.

I am sure that I have embarrassed by husband, kids, parents, brother, friends, co-workers, and others, but I have also made them laugh and thank me, as well. There are just times when someone has to say it. "It" being a variety of things. Often, it is something I feel is funny and will lighten the mood, but it can scorch the ears off an offender if I am pushed too far. I do my best to "take it" from others when they are unhappy, frustrated, rude, or just plain mean. I have sucked it up and allowed a parents to call me a f#$%ing b%$#@h, God d%@$#*d idiot, and even verbally threaten me when their child had to replace a lost library book. I have bit my tongue over and over, even when a fool of a woman told me that my son did not like living in our home and would rather be with her family than mine. I am trying hard to "smile and nod" when I don't agree with comments that are made to me in my new job and most importantly, to not take it personally, but in life, there does come a time when you just have to let it fly!

I blame it on my Texas roots. You know how people from other areas think most Texas women are all a bunch of big haired women (The taller the hair, the closer to Jesus!) who just say the first thing that comes to their minds? Well, sometimes that is true, unless you have met my mother or knew her mother. They are not all like this. However, my friend Cynthia, from the Big Spring area, can be pretty outspoken, too. We have decided it must be a regional thing and maybe it is for a lot of us. Communication research specialists will tell you that where you live or were raised does have an impact on not just your dialect, but your delivery as well. Unfortunately for some, messages from me were delivered with a pinch and a bite of hot pepper flavored directness. Take the jalapeno Arizona flavor and mix with the Texas "let me get my point across." While this mix can be entertaining, it can have a downside, too. At times, I have had to apologize to people who have been offended, hurt, and/'or angry by what I have said. Lucky for me, I am not only used to apologizing, but I don't have a problem doing it. Mama taught me to take responsibility for my actions which includes what I say. Maybe this is what those bumpers stickers mean that say, "Don't Mess With Texas."

Anyway, if I offend you, hurt your feelings, or embarrass you with my comments, please know that I love my family and friends deeply. I will never intentionally set-out to hurt you and will always do my best to defend you when others strike. [When one mean teacher actually had a fellow teacher literally backed against a wall, I put myself between them and talked the crazy one into backing up and letting the other one go to class. The attacker actually said at a meeting, "I like Mrs. Selchow. If she has a problem with you, she will come to you and tell you what is bothering her without sneaking around like a snake, talking behind your back." I took it as a compliment.] And if you feel the need to delete what I post, I totally understand. Although, be careful not to click the "delete this person" button by accident as it is embarrassing to ask them to refriend you. Don't ask how I know this...

Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one. Sometimes mine is an "outy" and everyone gets a chance to see or hear it!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jana, glad you moved to blogspot. I have used it for several years and it is great. Love your story. I am going to put you on my favorites. Hope that is okay.