Flipper Speak

I have a sinus infection. My head is so wobbly I feel like a bobble head. My eyes want to spit out my contact lenses. My face hurts. My ears hurt. My teeth hurt. And when I cough, Lordy Jesus, mercy, I can't describe what comes out of me.

Have you ever watched the old rerun of "Flipper?" Remember how Bud and Sandy would ask Flipper questions and he would scream/squeak out an answer that only they understood? That would describe how I sound when I speak. I mean, I already feel like I sound like Minnie Mouse when I hear my phone recordings, but this is totally dolphin speak.

Imagine if you will... (Cue the music from Twilight Zone)

Bosco: "Hon, what do you want for dinner?"
Jan: "Squeak, squeak,whisper, squeak."
Bosco: "Did you say a tamale?"
Jan: "Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak!"
Bosco: "Tomato soup?"
Jan: "Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak."
Bosco: "I can't understand you."

Jan picks up a notepad and scribbles something quickly.
Bosco: "Oh, you would like something to drink? Okay, how about some juice?"
Jan/Flipper nods her head repeatedly.

The phone rings.
Bosco: "It's for you."
Jan: Eye roll. Heavy sigh...